I found myself in deep thought when I got home that night, “Is Lawson really to be blamed for this decision he took”, I thought to myself.

When you are trying your best to serve God and someone is busy trying to frustrate you. The church ought to be a place where someone runs to, for solace. But now, even while you are happy entering into the church, Satan will use a brother or sister in the Lord to turn that joy to sadness.

I thought about my life, it has been from one level of suffering to another. I recalled my primary school days, how I was frequently sent out of school for nonpayment of fees. Secondary school was easier because the government offered free education. But then, I had to run errands for my mates such as copying their lesson notes for them. This qualified me to borrow their text books for study at home. Notwithstanding, I always came top in my class.

When I gained admission into the tertiary institution, my father was embarrassed by all those he went to borrow money from. I had almost given up hope when God miraculously sent a helper. He took care of my fees and other registration requirements. I engaged in all sorts of menial labour to sustain myself in campus.

My parents were not left out; they suffered to see me through the university. Their expectation was that when I graduate, things will turn around for good. At least I will secure a good job and take care of them.

Here I am today, have I not turned to a disappointment. Should I watch my parents die in suffering when God has blessed me with a talent that can turn things around for us? The best I could secure with my first class B.Sc. certificate is a job worth N30,000. If not that I was retained at my place of primary assignment after NYSC, may be I would be jobless. Should I not do something about my life? At least, for the sake of my parents.

Many churches had approached me with juicy offers that could change my life. But I have been waiting on God. I don’t want to go out of his will. It seems God is taking time. Does he really have a plan for me? How much longer can I wait?

My thoughts were interrupted by the ringing sound of my phone. I checked and it was Lawson.

“Kingsley, since you left my house, I have been in thought.”

“Really?” I asked in positive anticipation and excitement hoping he would to tell me that he was no more leaving our church. I did not hesitate to express my thought.

“Have you decided to stay back in church?”

“Far from that. I have been thinking of you.”

“Thinking of me…? Why?” I asked in wonder, hoping he was not trying to divert the issue.

“Kingsley it is time for you to take some steps that will better your life. Since you have refused to tell yourself the truth, I, your friend, will tell you. Kingsley, you are suffering and smiling. You lack the three basic needs of life: no decent accommodation, no good clothes. Even food, I mean food, you cannot conveniently feed yourself. Is this how you will continue living your life? No one will dare to talk about the next level which is marriage, when you cannot take care of only yourself adequately. I want you to think about your whole life seriously this night and take a decision that will change your life positively. Even if you claim you have developed a thick skin for hardship, pity your parents whom you told me are suffering. You literally send all your salary to them yet it is not enough to take care of your siblings. My dear brother, I will not fail to remind you that God has already placed something in your hand that you can use to help yourself. You are the one holding yourself down.”

I waited for him to say everything in his mind before replying him.

“The Law, thank you so much for your concern. I know that everything you said is because you want me to succeed. However, you have to relax. Leave me in the hands of God. I promise you that in due time, you will join me to testify of God’s goodness.”

“It is okay. Your response is good. But be assured that I will not relax until your condition change for the better.”

With that, Lawson dropped the call.

“Did I really mean what I told Lawson? Am I ready to wait even a second more, in this condition?” I asked myself.