Negative Touch (Episode 28)
“I am the happiest man on earth,” elder Femi boasted to his wife. “ One of the things that makes me happy is when I set out to do anything and I succeed.”
“My husband! The Lion himself! I am super proud of you,” his wife hailed him.
“Whenever I remember how your pastor was shedding tears on the altar while he was announcing that he has been transferred to another church, I cannot help but laugh. This is the person that will always say that God is his source. He depends on God for his daily needs. I wondered why he was mourning.”
“This my husband, you are funny.”
“My dear, it is not funny o. For a whole four years, your pastor told us to be looking up while he was picking the things on the ground. Now is his own time to go and look up so that we will pick the things on the ground.”
“Exactly. All the best things of life were for him. Best car, best house, best school for his children, 24 hours uninterrupted power supply etc. Our pastor was enjoying o”
“Even the most beautiful wife. Can’t you see how beautiful his wife is? She is the most beautiful woman in the church,” elder Femi added.
The last statement did not go down well with Mrs. Femi.
“What do you mean by saying Pastor’s wife is the most beautiful woman in the church. So she is more beautiful than me?” Mrs. Femi asked her husband in anger.
Elder Femi realized that he shot himself in the leg, so he quickly corrected himself.
“No! I mean that it is the church money that is making the woman beautiful. Was she beautiful when they send them to this church?”
“Ah! I thought as much,” she responded.
‘This woman, even if no one tells you. Don’t you know that you are ugly. If not that you used pregnancy to trap me,” elder Femi murmured to himself.
“But I heard that the church he was sent to is bigger than our own,”Mrs. Femi asked.
“I don’t care. Let him just go, that is all I want. The man was blocking ways for me. See how wretched I have become since he came. Other Pastors used to hand over the purchase of things to me. Buying of diesel, paying of church cleaners, buying of things for Holy Communion etc. From there, I will be making money. Even sometimes, I will be asked to go and count money alone. You know what that means. But since he came, he blocked everything. The worst is even the dangerous prayer he makes, that anyone that takes church money will die. Who does that? Have you ever seen where a pastor prays for his members to die?”
“You are talking of yours, what of mine. Before they came, there was nothing like election for women executives.
Other pastor’s wives used to appoint me as president and I will choose those loyal to me to assist me in the work. But his wife changed everything. She introduced election and made them to vote me out. That was how that source of income was blocked. That was why I felt that the farewell slap I gave her was well deserved. She will not forget it in a hurry,”Mrs Femi boasted.
“My lioness. The one that uses slap to serve breakfast. I salute your courage.” her husband hailed her.
“Don’t try me o. In fact that woman doesn’t know me. When she was crying and saying ‘God forgive her. She doesn’t know what she is doing’ I was just laughing at her. I had plans for her. If she has attempted fighting me, I would have signaled my friends to video it and I would have circulated in on social media.”
“Ah! That would have been so nice. You see, whenever I remember your intelligence, it makes me to forgive you for being ugly.”
“Baba Tobi. Is this supposed to be a compliment or a mild insult,” she flared up.
“Cant someone play with you?” elder Femi asked jokingly.
“I have told you that I don’t like this kind of play. Why will you always tell me that I am ugly and say it is a play? Please stop it, I don’t like it.”
“It’s okay. I’m sorry. I was only playing with you. How will my wife be ugly? You even know that I have a high taste. I cannot marry an ugly wife. Why are you frowning? Amend that your face quickly I want to take a photograph of you. Where is my phone?”
“It’s like you left it in the room,” she answered excitedly.
“Let me go and get it”
“It’s okay. Let me quickly put some powder on my face”
Elder Femi was in the room, searching for his phone when he heard a shout of pain from his wife. He quickly rushed out of the room and met his wife on the floor wriggling in pain and trying to cover her face with her hand.
“What is it?”
“Someone is slapping my face,” she cried out.
“What kind of joke is that? Please stop it. I am the only one here why would you say someone is slapping your face.”
“Ha! My face, e! o! They want to kill me,” she shouted in pain.
Her husband rushed and held her. That was when he discovered that her face was covered with burns as if she was slapped with a hot iron.” She suddenly shouted “fire o! fire o!” Afterwards she collapsed in his arms.
“Iya Tobi, iya Tobi,” elder Femi called and shook her but there was no response.
He was confused for some minutes. He later put her down and ran out to get a vehicle that would take her to the hospital for treatment. She was however declared dead on arrival.
Her death marked the beginning of a terrible plague in the church.
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